Saturday, October 31, 2009

Cultural Rupture

I thought I had become racist. For a second.

A Hispanic woman who did not have extensive English or seeming of much wealth (for lack of a better description) came into my store the other day and I immediately knew she wasn’t going to buy anything. I thought this conclusion came from me starting to breed that terrible mental illness known as racism. But It wasn’t. Of course, I work in a linens-and-furniture retail store and it’s my job to attend to customers in the store as soon as I see them and attempt to sell them merchandise….and I did. She told me she was looking for a circular dining table and we started on our pre-determined path of no fruition. I showed her all that we have, each piece individually costing as much as open heart surgery, and last but not least, the cheapest round table we had, the quality of which matched the price. She, of course, left without buying anything and I stood asking myself why her race was able to tell me that this would happen ahead of time. The answer ended up being that it’s a dynamic consequence of the fact that our store is in a neighborhood that can barely afford anything we sell.

If I had to guess, the President of the company picked the location of this store, a lower class Hispanic neighborhood in the South Bronx, because renting the property would be cheap. It’s built over a sewer which odorously makes itself known to anyone who walks inside. It’s built next to a river that’s so polluted the fish would have better chances of survival if people fed them opium everyday. There are as many rats in the store as there are customers and employees combined. Cheap electric and heating bills. Cheap water bills. All to upkeep a franchise made for the economic class that lives in the Hamptons, Long Island, Manhattan and New Rochelle, while keeping money in the capitalist’s pocket. Makes perfect sense to someone who just considers their own pockets in their decisions. And why should anyone be considerate of anything else when making decisions? Years ago, a decision like this wouldn’t have made any difference in whether the President of the store made his millions or not.

Circa 1999, citizens of the neighborhood were able to afford all of the ridiculously priced things the linens-and-furniture was selling. Italian sheet sets flew off the racks. Classy handmade chandeliers were pulled off the ceiling almost as soon as they were hung. Brand name leather sofas were bought up like iPhones. Two years later, a couple of planes consecutively crashed into the Twin Towers, making an economic vacuum that sucked loads of cash right out of American (and international, subsequently) circulation. A certain Texas-bred Fascist used the media, anger and sentiment over this to direct the country towards more violence. And the war started, with him spending $80,000,000 of taxpayers money per month on this. Then concepts like bad mortgages and housing bubbles bursting started coming into reality. And now here we are. The company is not making any real money, because it’s still busy trying to force high prices down people’s throats.

I’ve heard billions of complaints from customers about the smell of the sewer over which the building is built. Billions of inquiries as to whether the neighborhood is safe to walk through. Plenty of people who can’t make it to the store before closing time because they live and work in Long Island or Manhattan or New Rochelle and then have to travel to the Bronx to shop (without a car). Economically, if we cater to these areas, shouldn’t the store be located there? If we are stationed in the Bronx, shouldn’t the merchandise be affordable to Bronx residents? Then we’d have customers. Even people with money are complaining that things are too expensive, although this could be because they think everything in life should be cheap, regardless of the fact that it’s not really doing them any real damage to purchase things at the prices that are already there.

I originally questioned whether placing this business in poor neighborhood was right or wrong. A co-worker says that question really doesn’t apply to the situation at all since there really isn’t any obligation to the community you enter. I say that you have no business being in the community unless you’re supporting it somehow or are not really affecting it in any major way. Of course, selling furniture and bed sheets is not about any moral obligation at all, but I also don’t see the point of entering a culture without positively adding to it. We could talk about the company hiring local residents so that a few more of them would have some income, but that isn’t even the case.

The co-worker said that you cannot put your beliefs on other people, and that free will should not be violated. So, the company is free to posit itself wherever and run however it likes. This is true, but when you have this as the basis for all other thoughts, it leaves all kinds of room for immoral activity. People who mow down forests to setup corporations and test products on animals and “constitutionally bare arms” that end up in high shootings solely have the free will argument behind all they do. If the world is to heal somehow, good ideas need to be guiding those actions. Only thinking about how you would materially benefit is never a good idea.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Registered Nurse Job at Regions Hospital - Saint Paul, MN

Registered Nurse
Department Nrsg Med Surg C93 Rehab
City St. Paul, MN
Location RH – Regions Hospital & Clinics
Position Type On Call
Anticipated Work Schedule Per Diem
Shift Per diem
Hrs/Pay Period 0
Job Description
Nurses who work on this 16-bed rehabilitation unit help develop the plan of care and deliver direct care to patients with physical and cognitive function limitations. Types of patients admitted include those with spinal cord injuries, traumatic brain injury, CVA, amputation, multiple trauma and neurological disabilities. Patients tend to stay longer on this unit that is typical on other inpatient units, and nurses often get to know their patients well.
Additional Information
Completion of accredited associate, baccalaureate or master’s degree program. Licensed as a registered nurse by the State of Minnesota, CPR for the professional rescuer or BLS for healthcare providers required and every two years thereafter, competency in CPR.
Per Diem nurses must have a minimum of 3 years RN experience.

I'm gonna write it all down


I haven’t even journalled much in the past few months. My voice has been taken, it seems, in a different form than it was before. But I realized a loop last night. I’ll go ahead and leap right through it. )

I woke up this morning in quite a bit of a funk. I’ve been in one for a few weeks now, but it takes a different form every day now. Trying to work through some things that I will spill out here. Maybe on this post, maybe next…not sure where my words will take me. I managed to slither out of bed at 9:30…I feel awful about this. Like I’m a bad mom for sleeping in. I don’t have a job, though, and it seems to be our schedule these days. I shouldn’t feel bad. Its not like I’m missing anything, really. Don’t have any appointments or anything. She sleeps in with me. Not sure why I get the guilties about this, but soon enough, those will be gone and replaced with the uglies of having to get up early to go to work. Nothing in the works yet, on that, although I do have an interview on Monday. We’ll see where that goes. At any rate, mornings are not my favorite time. I’m just not a morning girl. In Maui or Kauai, I am. Here, I am not. Can’t make myself like ‘em. I’ve tried for years.

But anyways, the funk…I’m at an impasse. I’ve loved a man for over 5 years now and we battled the back and forth for so long. My heart was always in it, his was not. I couldn’t let go and it was easy for him to. Earlier this year, I finally let it all go. Had finally reached the end of my rope. And as soon as I did, his heart turned. We started officially dating in April, for about three months until I let go in July. I didn’t trust it. Didn’t trust that the rug was not going to be pulled out again. I convinced myself of all the reasons it wouldn’t work and I just couldn’t get myself engaged into the process. I was barely there. So I let go. The yucky part of it was that we didn’t talk. About much of anything. Both of us needed to talk, but neither of us could, for various reasons.

In mid July, my health went south for a couple of months, that I’ve mentioned on earlier posts. My body kinda took a beating and while I was in the hospital, he was there for me. Without agenda or time lines. He was just there, for as long as I needed. He snuggled with me and held me. Walked me to and from surgery. Loved on me like I need to be loved. It felt really good. It felt right. So in a moment of unmedicated clarity, we talked and decided to make a go of it again. This time with the realization that we need to communicate with one another even if it is difficult. We need to put everything out there, no matter what it was. And we were both going to engage. For three months it has been really good. Both of us completely on board and while not perfect, because two single parents dating is not a cake walk by any stretch…there are plenty of challenges to go around particularly where kids are concerned, but all was well. It felt really good. Really right.

Then there was a missions emphasis at church for a couple of weeks and my spirit spins out anytime there is a focus brought to missions. As my previous post mentions, I have had the seed planted in my heart to go on missions. I’m not sure when or how or where, but its there and it can’t be denied. My mind started to spin about how my current life would fit into the scenario. Is his heart set on missions, as well? From conversations we’ve had a LONG time ago, I knew that it is not. But we talked briefly about it. I let him know that my mind is spinning and I’m trying to find some resolution to it and I’m not sure where it will lead, but that it is very heavy on my mind. I do not want to MAKE him do something he does not have in his heart to do and I don’t want to put ultimatums out there. Nothing good comes from manipulation. Whatever happens we have decided will be a mutual decision. But I’m having to face the reality that while our hearts are finally in alignment, that perhaps our purpose is not. Its very difficult to contemplate on so many levels. Most of the men in my former life, there were obvious, tangible reasons to part. This…this is different. Can love conquer all? If his heart is intended for another purpose we may eventually find each other again, but its that giant gaping chasm of the unknown in the middle, and without any absolute guarantee that we will end up in the same place…that has me a bit spun out. How can I disconnect my heart from this man after so long? And for a reason that is so difficult to understand ourselves, letalone trying to explain it to others? Living and walking a life of faith is full of unknowns. But its not a place that I can deny or return back to where I came from. If I choose to stay, then I have the questions and gaping hole that my calling to missions should be. If I go, then there’s a gaping hole in my heart where I feel like he should be.

Right now we are standing on the fence. We’ve faced the reality that there just doesn’t seem to be any real answers. There’s not any place to meet in the middle. He doesn’t have the desires in his heart that I do. He feels that it is honorable and valuable and noble and a wonderful thing for me. But he’s not there right now. We could choose to hang on for an undetermined amount of time until I am sent (because I feel long term missions is/will ultimately be the outcome), but we’ll still have to leave one another. Is it better to do it now or hang on and let go later? When I write it all down it makes sense and it feels okay, but then I see him and face him and my heart wraps its arms around him and I don’t want to let him go.

So that’s where I am today. In a funk. Caught in a tug of war with my heart. My heart yearns for missions and a man. And there’s no question which one will win right now. It’s just getting to that place. There will be no easy way to do it. One day I’ll just have to decide…when the agony of it is greater than the desire to hold on. And that really hurts. A lot.

I did go to the gym today to try to work out some of my anxieties. It helped a little. More than anything I need the gym to help rid myself of the junk I’ve been piling into my face because I’m an emotional eater. The raw venture I started lost me about ten pounds and I was feeling great. And then this hit and well…all efforts kinda went south. I’m hoping to jump back up on that wagon soon.

When I got home I had some lunch with the babe and ate some of her snacks, put her down for a nap, and then promptly had a suger crash induced nap of my own. Sleep in the middle of the day is good for funky junk. Kinda nice to just eliminate a few hours of thinking.

Then had dinner (sushi) with a friend and then came home to Bible Study. We have a really great group of people in my Bible Study group and I so enjoy it. Look forward to it. Its such a real and raw group of people. Safe. Wonderful. Love it.

Right before Bible Study, I opened my email to find an acceptance letter from AGCI (All God’s Children International), that I have been accepted to participate in a trip to Ethiopia on a ten day missions trip with them in February. I’m suddenly very excited and nervous at the same time. Missions is in my heart, but its that first leap of faith that is a little bit nerve wracking. I’ve had my Passport since 2004 and it has no stamps in it. This will be my very first trip to another country (outside of the Navy or across the Mexican border) and there are significant risks involved. I don’t just have myself to consider anymore. My daughter is a huge factor. I have a lot of paperwork I have to fill out and get filed before I leave just in case anything happens while I’m away. Looking at this squarely does not feel very comfortable. I’m so crazy vulnerable with her in my life. But, I know that I will feel better once I know all that paperwork is filled out and filed and taken care of.

I’m looking forward to the distraction this will bring, but I think it solidifies the heart calling that I have that is contrary to the direction of another. While this is only a short term mission trip, it could ultimately and eventually lead to other opportunities and eventually perhaps a long term assignment. I’m not sure. God knows. And I’ll be following His lead.

Jasper Nationalpark

Dieser Trip war schon seit ein paar Wochen in Planung und sollte nun umgezetzt werden, denn wenn man nur ein freies Wochenende pro Monat hat, dann sollte man das auch ausgiebig geniessen. So hat es schon riesig geholfen, wenigstens mal aus der Stadt herauszukommen, auch wenn der Herbst die Zeit ist, in der die Baeren in den Nationalparks in die Taeler ziehen, um sich fuer den Winterschlaf vollzufressen.

Aufgebrochen sind wir am Freitag um 14 Uhr, um nach Downtown zur Autovermietung zu fahren. Wir, Subin, Heerae und ich, bekamen schliesslich ein Koreanisches Auto vermietet, was die zwei Koreaner unter uns erfreute. Doch wuerde dieses Auto dieser langen Reise standhalten?

Der Jasper Nationalpark liegt ca 300 Kilometer westlich von Edmonton. Bis in die Stadt Jasper, die im Zentrum dieses Parks liegt, haben wir 4 Autostunden benoetigt und da es schon recht spaet war, sollte die Sonne uns sehr stark blenden. Als wir schliesslich im Jasper NP ankamen, war es bereits dunkel und wir konnten die Berge, den Rand der Rocky Mountains, nur schwer wahrnehmen.

Der Eindruck des Hostels, an dem wir schliesslich ankamen, war sehr verlassen. Doch wir hatten uns vorher informiert und gesagt bekommen, dass es keine Hauptsaison sei und man keine Reservierung benoetigt. So waren wir dann die einzigen Gaeste im Hostel International Maligne Canyon, ganz in der Naehe von Jasper. Wir haben uns dafuer entschieden, obwohl man dort ohne fliessend Wasser auskommen muss. Man hat zwar Trinkwasser, aber man kann sich nicht duschen. Den Besuch in Jasper wollten wir nun nicht davon abhaengig machen, ob wir uns duschen koennen oder nicht.

Am naechsten Morgen ging es um 9 auf zur Tankstelle, um Benzin und Snacks nachzufuellen. Was quietscht da so im Auto? Was ist los mit dem Koreanischen Auto? Wie sollen wir weiterkommen? Zum Glueck hat der Fahrer nur vergessen, die Handbremse zu loesen, aber gestunken hats trotzdem(lasst das bloss nicht die Autovermietung wissen). Auf dem Weg zum Maligne Lake wurde die Landschaft und die Berge um uns herum immer weisser und es wurde kaelter. Am See angekommen, haben wir uns auf einen Fussmarsch durch den Wald gemacht, immer mit dem Gedanken im Hinterkopf, dass uns ein Baer begegnen koennte. Aber Robert war ganz schlau und hat eine Colabuechse mit Steinen gefuellt und in seine Tasche gesteckt. Die grossen Tiere, die wir im Wald auf einer Lichtung entdeckt haben, waren Elche, 3 Stueck an der Zahl. Im Gegensatz zu Hirschen und Coyoten, die wir am Strassenrand beobachten konnten, sind Elche nur sehr selten zu beobachten. Baeren haben wir dagegen nicht gesehen.

Da man in Nationalparks fuer grosse Entfernungen aufs Auto angewiesen ist, haben wir die Zeit dann auch genutzt, um weiterzufahren. Ueber Jasper zum naechsten Hostel, ebenfalls ohne fliessend Wasser (es ist nur ein Wochenende, wir brauchen keine Dusche). Doch dieses Hostel war viel gemuetlicher. Ein Kamin stand mitten in der Lounge,  alles war aus naturbelassenem Holz, Tische, Baenke sowie das Dach und Geweihe hingen von der Decke. Wir haben den Abend damit verbracht, zu kochen und mit den anderen Gaesten im Hostel zu plaudern.

Am letzten Tag, haben wir uns auf den Weg zum hoechsten Berg der Kanadischen Rocky Mountains gemacht, dem Mount Robson in British Columbia. Wir haben ihn zwar nicht bestiegen, aber eine kleine Wanderung um den Fuss des Berges genossen. Nach diesem letzten Ausflug haben wir uns auf den Heimweg gemacht.

Zusammenfassend hat mir dieses Wochennede sehr viel gebracht. Ich bin aus der Stadt herausgekommen, ich habe die Luft genossen und grosse Tiere in freier Wildbahn gesehen. In einem Tal in Jasper habe ich zum ersten Mal eine Ruhe erlebt, die ich vorher noch nie erlebt habe. Es ist alles so friedlich, wenn man sich in fast unberuehrter Natur bewegt. Desweiteren bin ich immer noch beeindruckt von der Natur, die ich gesehen habe. Ich habe meinen Traumjob im Wildnis-Hostel gefunden. Bevor ich diesen Job antrete, werde ich diesen hier beenden, denn ich habe wieder Energie getankt, was auch andere gemerkt haben, denn ich bin mit strahlenden Augen zurueckgekehrt.

Ueberraschenderweise war dieses Wochenende fuer uns recht preiswert. Insgesamt haben wir $500 bezahlt. Das waren $175 fuer das Auto, $90 fuer Benzin, $54 fuer den Einkauf der Lebensmittel, $40 fuer die Parkgebuehr und $144 fuer die Uebernachtungen in den Hostels ($24 p.P. p.Nacht)

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Daily Cash Job

Link:      https://paydotcom.com/r/82988/rhamario/25951705/

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Sunday, October 25, 2009

Between jobs

Yes, I still do have the old teaching job and I’m going there tomorrow again for the first time after lying sick in my bed for last two weeks, but…  But I’m applying for a new job, in a new city, new country and a new continent.

Who knows me well already noticed I love travelling and being in one place for a long time. And I also hate being for such a long long time without my love. So I decided to move to Colombia for some time and now I’m trying to find a job there, a job that would pay my bills.

I don’t know what’s your experience with finding jobs, for me it’s never been easy. Either I have too much education or too little experience, but I never got the job I really wanted so far. This time many new factors are lying in my way – it’s very difficult to find a job in a foreign country so far away, especially as I don’t speak Spanish very well.

But heck, this time my bad luck will change. I applied for the perfect job and I will get it.

Howgh, domluvila jsem.

Le stress au chômage pire qu'au travail

Lu dans le Metro de jeudi 22 Octobre

Le ministre français du Travail, Xavier Darcos a estimé qu’il y avait pire que le stress au travail, il y a le stress au chômage.

…Les évènements dramatiques qui se sont produits dans certaines entreprises…montrent qu’il y a un décalage entre ce que devrait être le travail: un lieu d’épanouissement, de réalisation de soit…

Le gouvernement est convaincu que la première des valeurs sociales est le droit à un travai!

Chang Kai Check l’avait comprit depuis longtemps quand en 1948 il s’est réfugié avec ses fidèles sur l’île de Taiwan. Il a poursuivi sa vision de la République de Chine dont la construction repose sur les 3 fondements suivants : - un statut social pour tous - un travail pour tous - de la nourriture pour tous

Les conseils d'Aude Debuysscher, Recruitment Manager chez Tractebel Engineering (GDF Suez)

Nom : Aude Debuysscher
Responsabilité : Recruitment Manager
Firme : Tractebel Engineering (GDF Suez)
Spécificité: recrute essentiellement des ingénieurs civils et industriels (francophones, néerlandophones et anglophones).

La lettre de motivation

  • Taille : elle ne doit pas être trop longue, et surtout, éviter de copier le CV en annexe !
  • Quoi : il faut expliquer rapidement la fonction recherchée et les raisons pour lesquelles son profil conviendrait pour cette fonction-là.
  • Motivation : démontrer clairement sa motivation à postuler.
  • Mais encore ? Le reste n’est selon moi que du blabla que nous n’avons pas le temps de lire…

Le CV

  • L’orthographe : un CV bourré de fautes, ça ne va pas. Ca tombe sous le sens, et pourtant, je m’étonne souvent de découvrir un document truffé de fautes. Vérifiez soigneusement votre texte !
  • La structure : parmi toutes les informations, le recruteur doitpouvoir repérer immédiatement les expériences utiles pour son entreprise.
  • Résumé ? Les formules du type « dynamique et motivé » me paraissent souvent creuses. Franchement, les marques d’autopromotion ne me donnent pas particulièrement envie d’aller voir plus loin.
  • Que faire après l’envoi ? Nous recevons tellement de CV qu’il nous est fort difficile de répondre au téléphone aux personnes qui cherchent à connaître l’état de leur dossier. Je conseille d’envoyer un mail, ce qui laisse le temps de trouver l’information et de répondre.

L’entretien

  • S’informer sur l’entreprise : il est essentiel que le candidat démontre qu’il s’est informé sur notre entreprise.
  • La motivation : c’est un critère essentiel. Nous avons suffisamment de candidats pour nous montrer exigeants sur la motivation. Le candidat doit savoir et pouvoir expliquer clairement pourquoi il postule spécifiquement chez nous. Une personne qui frappe à toutes les portes ne nous intéresse pas. Et cette motivation doit être authentique.
  • Poser des questions : en posant des questions pertinentes par rapport à la fonction, le candidat démontre qu’il y a sérieusement réfléchi et possède le sens de l’analyse.
  • Se connaître : le candidat est là pour se vendre, certes, mais il ne doit pas en faire trop. Attention à la surenchère. Quelle que soit la fonction, technique ou commerciale, il doit pouvoir se remettre en question en connaissant ses points forts et ses faiblesses.
  • Authenticité : si le candidat avance une compétence, il doit pouvoir tirer de son expérience des exemples concrets. Quitte à remonter aux études ou à une activité associative pour parler de la gestion d’équipe. Il faut un lien entre les compétences avancées et les situations vécues.
  • Le plus ? Après l’entretien, le candidat qui nous envoie un mail pour confirmer son intérêt est fort bien perçu. Et s’il mentionne certains éléments cités durant notre rencontre, c’est encore mieux.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

să ne echivalăm punctajul

Când mă gândesc la subiect aud sunete/văd imagini din how to save a life.

am o problemă/piatră pe suflet: dacă așternutul tipărit pe care dorm chiar poate să semnifice, eventual, să echivaleze cu bisturiul, linia care schițează pe o coală o casă, confortul verde din fosta ceașcă, „peruca albă” care revolza autoritar conflicte; suntem egali? oare ne putem compara cu astfel de cunoștințe fără să simțim, măcar nici cel mai mic sentiment de vinonvăție în ceea ce privește categoria pană a cuțitului cu care tăiem in carne; irosim timpul. oare nu este doar o amânare, un fel de bălăceală, un fum. țigara- scuză pe care ne-o luăm că să asimilăm ceea ce se petrece cu noi.

cum infruntăm inutilitatea pe care o simțim în fața limbajulul codificat; cum suntem siguri că fără hartă și copilot mașina pe care o conducem merge în DIRECȚIE.

Știu că se spune că fiecare furnică asigură buna funcționarea mușuroiului, însă lor li se atribuie funcția pe care toate zilele o vor sluji. noi, noi decidem cum slujim mușoroiul și fiecare se crede  regină/napoleon în deciziile sale.  ahh, Atunci când tragi cu ochiul în curte veciunului și vezi poduri mai inalte decît la tine te oprești, clipești, privești: Natura omului: cum? . adverse. Mai degrabă nu priveai. Totuși… poate e bine. contracte de colaborare, schimb de experință. cum sună? Mai bine, nu? Parcă întrevezi o speranță.

Semnul nu dispare, doar il acoperim cu lovituri mai intense, ritmice. pășim și il pudrăm din mers. reflex. Încercăm cu supradoze din rețeta din portofel sau Ne scufudăm în alt așternut al cărui proprietar niciodată nu-l aflăm.

generalitatea „FI CEL MAI BUN IN CEEA CE FACI” poate că e o soluție. Fiecare cu o bucățică. Just pick hil, plain or water. Cine,Ce nu expiră? Ce putem să pierdem? Să deschidem O ușă; de acolo vedem. Să punem lutul pe masă, îi setăm viteza cu piciorul, îl înălțăm cu mâna, îl udăm să nu se usuce, îl finalizăm după ce avem o idee despre cum ar trebuie să arate.

Job Interview - Best Prep Questions

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Often, face to face interviews are preceded by a blast screening, whereby a key Human Resources or added adumbrative contacts the job applicant anon by buzz to ask some basal questions. While the strategies declared herein administer to buzz and on-site job interviews, the objectives differ. In the blast interview, the cold should be to bound allegorize your absorption in the job and abilities you accompany to buck so as to accomplish a job interview. With the face to face interview, the cold should be to beforehand to a job offer. Attempting to get a job action differs from in actuality accepting the job. A job applicant who asks for the job action by affairs themselves to the aggregation as the best fit and a lot of motivated candidate, will acceptable leave the job account with an action in hand.
MOST IMPORTANT JOB INTERVIEW CONSIDERATIONS:
DON’T BE ON TIME – BE EARLY
It is important you admission at the account 20-30 account early. Obviously, accepting backward sends a abrogating bulletin about you to the interviewer. Abounding interviewers don’t accommodated with candidates who admission late. Plan ahead. Investigate cartage patterns about to the time of your job interview. Don’t apprehend the accuser will be acute to delays acquired by cartage bottleneck or an abrupt cartage accident. They apprehend you will acquiesce for those eventualities, just like they do.
DRESS & LOOK PROFESSIONAL
Women: A skirt, dress or dress-suit or pant-suit are the a lot of adapted for the changeable candidate. Accomplish abiding your clothes are neat, apple-pie and able-bodied apprenticed and accomplish sense. Avoid arguable garb, annihilation too absolute or too trendy. You wish to attending professional, not like you are there to get a date or authentic a appearance statement.
Men: A dress suit, shirt and tie is the a lot of adapted accouterment for the macho candidate. Accomplish abiding your clothes are neat, apple-pie and able-bodied pressed. Avoid blatant colors, jeans, T-shirts or tennis shoes. Wear your hair authentic (including facial hair), apple-pie and able-bodied groomed.
Oh yeah, and amuse awning tattoos and physique piercings. While your clandestine accompany may adore the accepted fad of physique art, a lot of likely, a new employer isn’t impressed, in fact, may attending aloft those expressions as somewhat adolescent – behindhand of how you may feel about them. If such accumulated attitudes are afflictive for you, acquisition addition -to-be employer who is added accessible to such un-requested expressions of personality. Otherwise, be professional, dress professional, behave professionally.
PREPARE
Have a pen, block and added archetype of your resume and references with you. Accomplish addendum of questions you wish to ask that chronicle to the job and company. Put those items in a abode that will be simple for you to get to if you allegation them in the interview. If you currently use a daily/weekly planner, accompany that with you too. You should try to admission at your account able-bodied rested, with a bright apperception and a plan for presenting your accreditation and acknowledging abstracts like references.
GREET JOB INTERVIEWER ENTHUSIASTICALLY
Smile, be friendly, not nervous, action a solid handshake and say something friendly, like: “Good morning, amusement to accommodated you, and acknowledge you for the befalling to appointment with you today.” Appearance your activity about the befalling to plan for their company. Remember, they are interviewing you for a job that requires specific abilities and 18-carat activity — if you don’t authentic that at the interview, they abounding not be assertive you accept the backbone appropriate for the job.
DON’T HIGHLIGHT NEGATIVES
For the job interviewer, it is all about bushing the job with the appropriate person. Accept me, a lot of interviewers don’t wish to apprehend about your aged tin can collection, or how you landed that elk endure year on your vacation. An accuser wants your absorbed absorption on their needs. Your claimed habits abstract from that focus. Such claimed comments may awning capacity like: smoking, chewing gum, afraid feel or anxiety movement, borer a pencil or a fork, humming, whistling, stretching, charwoman feel nails, allowance your throat, boundless “ums” in conversation, or absorption too abundant time on different topics. Don’t accomplish abrogating animadversion about your accomplished or present administration or workmates. Abrogating animadversion will not admonition your cause, and will assume as acceptance you are blaming others for poor results.
RESEARCH THE COMPANY THOROUGHLY
Learn as abundant as you can about the aggregation and the duties of the position which interests you, like assets ambit and associated benefits. Family and accompany are sometimes sources of admonition about the aggregation you seek for employment. But don’t await on hearsay, try to allocution to anyone in the aggregation about the claim and expectations of the you seek. And beforehand added than one antecedent of comments about the aggregation you are considering. Any absolute things you apprentice about the company, accomplish abiding you acknowledgment them to the accuser as a way to authentic your continued appellation absorption in the you seek. Be able to acknowledgment questions about why you wish to plan for their company, alms alive affidavit that are applied in results.
PREPARE TO ASK QUESTIONS
You don’t wish to abash the accuser with too abounding questions. Remember, they are interviewing you, so be able to acknowledgment all their questions smartly. But claiming the accuser with some of your own questions – actuate those questions afore you admission to the interview. Accumulate acceptable eye acquaintance if you ask your questions. Don’t get into diffuse discussions. The abstraction is to appoint the interviewer, to appearance them you can yield allegation if appropriate and get the admonition you need. You should strive to actualize a account of questions that go to the affection of the you seek.
KEEP A GOOD ATTITUDE
Be assured and abreast and you will authentic a acceptable attitude. But don’t assume over assured in your abilities. Remain relaxed, acknowledgment questions sincerely. Be absorbed in the and the company. Lighten up some and use a little humor! Your accuser should be fabricated to feel you absolutely wish the and their company. Appearance austere absorption so that you will be advised a austere candidate. Do not acknowledgment offers of interviews with added companies, unless asked.
SPECIFIC QUESTIONS TO EXPECT
When answering questions that accept a pre-determined answer, bethink to action a beeline advanced and actual answer, and accumulate it simple. Avoid yes/no answers, unless you are alms an archetype to allegorize your answer. In fact, as abundant as possible, try and action your key answers in a architecture of : Strategy-then-example. In that sense, if you were to altercate aspects of how to body a aggregation of your workmates, you could acknowledgment with a abbreviate animadversion about your all-embracing action of how to body a team, again chase that up with a quick real-time archetype of how you afresh activated that action and the after-effects you got. Something like – “I body a aggregation by authoritative abiding anybody complex understands our alternate goals, the timing, and their admission on those goals. If I did that endure Spring, as we were introducing a new product, the ambition was to advertise added artefact by training aggregation associates to up-sell the new artefact to absolute barter – we added sales over 20-percent in one month.”
“TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF”
Most humans feel their claimed lives are important, so if this catechism is asked they allocution about aggregate from their accouchement to their wives to their adoration and even their admired amusement or television show. interviewers wish to apprehend some of that, or they don’t feel they did a able interview. But, the accuracy is, the accuser is added absorbed in accepting the appropriate abilities and acquaintance for the . So accumulate your claimed comments superficial, and in answering those claimed questions, circuit your answers in a address that your acknowledgment reflects the abilities and adeptness appropriate for the . After all, you are interviewing for the , not a amusement partner.
“WHAT ARE YOUR STRENGTHS”
This is your primary time to authentic how your acquaintance and abilities bout up to the requirements and needs of the you seek. Be specific, but don’t absorb an hour. Accumulate your words simple. Address out as abounding of the answers as accessible afore the interview, so you can be adequate if you explain your skills. Again, be abrupt and use examples.
WHAT ARE YOUR WEAKNESSES?
Mature thinkers tend to apperceive their weaknesses. That is why a lot of interviewers ask this question. Will you accept you accept weaknesses, and if so, how do you administer those? Is the weakness too above to acquiesce you to be acknowledged in the you seek? Meaning to say, apperceive in beforehand how you will acknowledgment this question. For instance, abounding harder workers are accused of alive to abounding hours. Sometimes it’s to do with the workload, sometimes it’s just a amount of poor time-management. So if you say you are accused of accepting a “workaholic,” atmosphere that acknowledgment by acceptance you do plan hard, but that you consistently beforehand a reasonable workload for you and your team, so you and your aggregation (if there is one) are active, but you are not absolutely abaft in your work. So accept a weakness or two, but authentic how your after-effects don’t suffer.
DESCRIBE YOUR MANAGEMENT STYLE?
If you are gluttonous a administration aggressive position, call your administration style. Is it added hands-on? Is it assay based? Do you agent and verify results? Whatever your style, call it specifically, not generically. Don’t action hourly-wage answers, action administration aggressive answers; alternate allowance answers awning comments like: “I’m consistently to plan on time; I consistently get my plan done; I get forth with others;” and such. Those are the attributes a administrator expects of the humans who address to them. Accomplish your answers about to management. Call your adeptness and success if you delegate; your success with smart, authentic assay and advertisement and how those letters beforehand your activities; outline strategies you use to actuate or admission aggregation members. Be detailed, but in abbreviate answers.
“WHY DO YOU WANT TO LEAVE YOUR CURRENT ?”
There is annihilation amiss with abrogation one for a bigger one. Accomplish abiding the accuser sees you as accepting in that mind-set. If there are austere issues accepted in your accepted or contempo , don’t absorb time discussing those, accumulate the focus on how you are a acceptable bout for the at hand, and how you are motivated to beforehand and advance. A acceptable acknowledgment ability be something like: ” I am consistently searching to bigger myself. I heard absolute things about your aggregation and this in particular, so I capital to analyze my options”.
“WHERE DO YOU WANT TO BE IN FIVE YEARS”
This isn’t a ambush question, like a lot of humans believe, accepting two sides: 1) To appearance how aggressive are you. 2) Are you loyal. It’s accept to say you wish to advance, if that is the case. But do it politely, a acceptable all-encompassing acknowledgment may be something like: “I wish to be a bigger administrator than I am now.” Or, “I would be actively alive appear promotions in this company.”
OTHER QUESTIONS YOU NEED TO BE PREPARED TO ANSWER:
Obviously, there are too abounding hiring scenarios to try and awning all pertinent account questions here. But, there are some basal questions that may acceptable arise, and for which you should accomplish pre-fabbed answers, so you can action an able and accompanying acknowledgment if such questions appear up in conversation. Address out your answers to anniversary of these questions.
How will you be an asset to our aggregation (good befalling to acknowledgment above-mentioned achievements, after accepting boastful.)

Why did you aces this industry?

Call a different administration role that you held.

What has been your greatest claiming in your career?

Give me an archetype of a botheration that arose in your , and how you apparent it.

Tell me about a activity you accomplished and the results.

What types of situations put you beneath burden and how did you accord with it?

Give me a bearings in which you failed, how did you accord with it?

How do you plan with difficult people?

What was your greatest accomplishment?

What challenges are you searching for in a position?

What motivates you?

If I asked humans who apperceive you to call you, what three words would they use?

Call a bearings area you had to plan with anyone who was difficult. How did you handle it?

What ancestry are a lot of important for a acceptable manager?

Tell me a about a aggregation activity of which your are decidedly appreciative of. What was your contribution?

What blazon of ambiance appeals to you the most?

What characteristics are a lot of important in a acceptable manager? How accept you displayed one of them?

What makes anyone a acceptable leader?

What are your expectations of a acceptable employer?

What do you do in your additional time?
The accomplished abstraction actuality is to leave annihilation to chance. Literally address out your answers in advance. A lot of candidates do not chase this acceptable advice, assertive they already apperceive how best to present their credentials. Don’t accomplish that mistake. Adapt your answers in advance, put them in angle of how your abilities and ability best fit the for which you are interviewing. By acclimation these simple tasks to adapt for your interview, you will abundantly admission your allowance of accepting hired. Don’t leave your next abundant to chance. Adapt for it now.
Mark Baber has 20 years acquaintance as an Executive Seek recruiter. For one-on-one seek admonition visit: http://www.mcbaber.com
Mark is Recruit Consultant to http://www.NewsRadio.com area seekers admission 2 Million transactions.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

HELP, HELP, HELP, or just some advice, and infromation please

if there is anybody alive out there, that actually reads this stuff i write…….and can help me out here let me know……what i want to do is set up a website, i have one that i have not used, but i don’t like it……so if anyone knows of a site that they use that is either free or inexpensive, please let me know……i would like to start a home-web based business, and would like any info on how to do it i am starting from nothing so any info you can pass on would be great……….and i would like to start another blog that is just about my art……my business will be my art and my artistic talents. I have big plans, and lots of ideas, but i just need that first bite of the elephant and then i can eat it one bite at a time…i have decided that at this point in my life when i have nothing to lose anymore, i might as well just FUCKING go for it…………..now is not too late, and now seems like the perfect time…..i just would like a little guidance, some

head of the hawk

Mood: Munchy.

Went to Bluejuice yesterday with Des, Jago and his sister, Clare (I think that was her name). James came with us to Orient Hotel as well. I really enjoyed myself. Fat Yak is good beer. And I shall try Bulmers cider again, it tasted really good. Had a really fun time, watching the waves, longing to be in the cool water, yet not wanting to get wet/salty by falling into the ocean. Watching ferries go by, the opera house, the harbour bridge. It’s been a rather long time, and I’ve kind of missed it. Not too sure what exactly, but it was nice enjoying the company of friends. I’m surprised I’m not sunburnt today.

Bluejuice was pretty good. It’s been a while since I’ve gone to a gig too, so it was really fun. Haha, Jago’s sister and I had our eyes on the drummer, whose name is James. We thought he was cute. Or at least I did, I think Jago’s sister thought so too. I enjoyed the Orient hotel too, and playing pool.

Just so many things that I haven’t done in WAY TOO LONG. GOD, WHERE HAS MY LIFE GONE? And, I’m not angsting in the least (!), just a sense of wow life passes you by, and there are so many things we could be doing and enjoying, with awesome people. I can’t wait til next year. It’ll be a new life, I reckon. I will go out, and play $1 pool in the Orient, with friends, and drink beer without a care about exams and assessments, and all those niggly little details.

Got a call today David Jones for casual summer work. I was caught off guard – library lawn, hands full of food, etc. and he started interviewing me right then and there. Dear me. It was the most unprepared interview I’ve ever done, and yet I think it went alright. Anyway, group interview on Saturday in the city, for the Bondi store. I really hope I get it now. I wasn’t so enthusiastic before, but now I think it’s a good opportunity. Apparently 80% of their management positions are filled from within. I like that. Internal thingy. But yeah. So, before I forget, interview on Saturday in the city, corporate gear (now, I’m glad I bought the suit, etc.) I’ll try and make a good impression. I would like this job, and the possibility of keeping a part time position after the summer break.

I’m rather glad I didn’t get the accounting CA program thing. As James said, ‘I still have my life’ kind of feeling. Should do some macro now for the exam. Funnily enough, I feel as if I’m doing better than last semester. I’m nearly finished lecture-revising for macro – well, not really. The last few weeks, then I’ll go through the earlier lectures. Accounting is alright too. QMB I will start soon. Very very soon. Legal. I should do that too.

Plan: Finish macro today. Tomorrow: Accounting + QMB. (QMB definitely, accounting optional)

Shall go to Pump + Attack today. Woohoo. I didn’t go yesterday, feeling a little tight and jumpy. At pondering whether to get another year long membership, because my 6 month one is expiring today. I don’t know whether I’ll be able to go during the holidays, so that’s 4 months, but chances are I will. So, I think I will. $515 eh… oh well. It’s about $1 a day, and less considering I do 2 in a day sometimes.

You learn something new about people, everyday.

A much-needed break!

I’ve resigned from the job that I did over the last five-plus years – one that required me to commute a couple of hours every day.

I’ll hopefully be working from home in a few months’ time, but meanwhile I am taking a much-deserved break !

Another reason for this switchover was that the PC and broadband connection I recently obtained was lying idle the entire day – a terrible waste of a resource!

© Sosha Srinivasan

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Forem et Selor, un même combat...mais il y a encore du chemin

La semaine passée j’ai reçu un lettre du Forem concernant 100 postes informatiques à pourvoir dan l’administration qui recrutent des ingénieurs et des informaticiens.

Je vais donc consulter la liste et en effet certains postes m’intéressent… je m’empresse donc de prendre un compte Selor et de remplir les données nécessaires (compter deux heures pour bien le faire). Je reviens donc sur la liste des postes et clic sur “postuler” j’arrive donc sur la page Selor puis denouveau un “clic” pour confirmer et voilà que le système vérifie et me rejette, les données introduites au niveau de mon expérience professionnelle ou de mes diplômes ne sont pas en rapport avec les critères du poste.

Je relis, vérifie, re-rentre dans mon profile Selor, re-vérifie, modifie d’ici de là, puis je ré-essaye, et pas de chance cela ne fonctionne pas. Je ne désespère pas, téléphone à la personne de contact, qui m’accueille chaleureusement (j’avais en fait l’impression de l’ennuyer), je lui explique mon problème et elle me répond , si vous n’avez pas les qualifications, je ne sais rien y faire…. mais j’ai les qualifications et je lui explique encore une fois…oui mais il faut introduire les bonnes données???? Quelles sonnées.? Bref on tourne en rond….

Sur ce je rappelle le Forem pour lui expliquer mon aventure, nous vérifions ensemble mon profile et la demande et en effet j’ai bien les compétences mais au travers de Selor ma candidature n’est pas acceptée. La personne du Forem me promet de parler avec Selor et voire ce qui ne va pas (peut-être un “bug” dans le système…)

Selor s’est mis au goût du jour, comme les sociétés de recrutement avec un outil informatique qui vérifie suivant des critères si vous êtes éligible au pas…bonne chance à Selor et aux candidats…

Vu la méthode de recrutement de Selor, déjà contestée dans le passé, c’est pas encore aujourd’hui que l’administration recrutera des candidats de qualité….

If Rob wasn't famous - his other jobs

Dear Rob,

What if you weren’t “Robert Pattinson” aka Edward Cullen? What if you weren’t the new Johnny Depp, or that guy who does “the Tuck” while playing Salvador Dali? Seriously, what would you do if you weren’t an actor? It’s hard to image (actually not at all, I have a very active imagination) but there’s some of the ideas I’ve come up with…

Inspired by HeyyyyBrother who sent this first image to us, we just had to know what other jobs you might have had


Used Car Salesmen at Cars-B-Sold in Fort Lauderdale – Let him rev your engine!

Rug Specialist as Sofa King in New Jersey – He’s Sofa King good at his job!


Lounge Singer at Blue Moon Piano Bar in Shaboygan, WI  – Let him tickle your ivories!

Follow the cut to see the rest of Rob’s jobs


New Leader of the TBirds! – Move over Danny Zucko, there’s a new greaser in town!


(very dressed up) Park Ranger / Tour Guide at Yellow Stone National Park – He can’t wait to show you Ol’ Faithful (that’s what she said!)


Seasonal Sales Associate at Anthropologie – He loves to show you exactly how comfortable their over priced couches are! Why don’t you jump on here with him and give it a whirl! He’ll have this rung up and delivered just in time for Chrismukkah!


Musical Evangelists in Japan – Just them a couple mics, some suits from the Men’s Warehouse and they will be saving souls in NO time. KStew lost a bet and got dragged along. She’s NOT into singing solo’s. Ever.

So Rob I think you should probably stay an actor or at least a Rug Specialist because these others aren’t really your bag, but I’d like to see you try in your weeks off!

Xo
Themoonisdown

What jobs did I miss? What else could Rob do if he wasn’t an actor?

Good times to be had in The Forum
Enjoy LTT today and see who won the CafePress Tshirt!

Guess what I just opened? Yup, I tore into my new Bite Me notepad from Lobotome!! And seriously, it’s awesome. Like UC said over at LTT we get a lot of emails pitching us stuff and when I saw this one I knew I had to email Lobotome back and tell them that we loved the product! And they were super sweet and sent us back a couple pads to try out along with samples of their other to-do lists.

On my list?

-Investigate tshirt manufactuers/silk screeners (um, yup this means we’re trying to get LTT/LTR shirts made!)
-Design Tshirts
- Order more Lobotome lists for Xmas stocking stuffers
- Do Rob

And then I just spent the rest of the time and free space doodling “Mrs. Robert Pattinson” “Mrs. RPattz” “Ms. Needs a Life!”

So go buy some notepads ay LobotoME! and share your obsession in a classy AND useful way!

99 Ways To Be A Better Dad On Weekdays

 

Beer? Nope. All you Dads who were hoping this post would have something to do with the “99 Bottles of Beer On The Wall” song can go ahead and leave now. Come on, this is a parenting blog.

 

Here is my Monday through Friday routine:

1. Wake up early

2. Work throughout most of the day

3. Pick up Breanna and try to cram as much fun and excitement as possible into the few hours that she, Eva and I have available to us before it’s time for Bre to go “moo moo” (her toddler word for bedtime, but that’s another story for another time).

 

 

Within this pattern lies two essential problems…

 

Problem #1: Most of the day is spent away from my wife and daughter, the two most important people in my life.

 

There’s really nothing much I can do about Problem #1 unless I am able to:

 

A) Hit the lottery

 

or…

 

B) Become a famous author and guest speaker.

 

I’m not holding my breath for option A, although I buy a ticket now and then. Option B is completely within my grasp, but it will take some time. So let’s move on to Problem #2.

 

Problem #2: There is a limited amount of time available during weekdays to experience the good stuff with Breanna.

 

Obviously, Problem #2 is closely related to Problem #1.

 

I started reading books about fatherhood long before Bre-Bre was born. Now, I primarily read daddy blogs to see what other dads are up to and what kind of fun parenting ideas I can get from them. Tonight, I found a blog post on the Natural Papa blog entitled, 100 Ways To Be A Better Father.

It’s a terrific list, and I hope you dads take a minute to check it out.

Like my own father, I don’t have a chance at #83 (so my list has been reduced from 100 to 99).

But it still gives me a great reminder of some key things to focus on during Breanna’s few hours of consciousness between me picking her up from daycare and her bedtime!

What would you add to this list?

Sunday, October 18, 2009

From arrogance to obedience

(Sermon for Sunday, October 18, 2009 || Proper 24, Year B, RCL || Mark 10:35-45)

Here we go again. A month has passed since my last sermon delivered to you. A chapter has passed in the Gospel According to Mark. And Jesus has passed through Capernaum on his way to Jericho and then on to Jerusalem for his final days. In the Gospel lesson four weeks ago, the disciples argued about which one of them was the greatest. In response, Jesus placed a small child in their midst and said to them, “Whoever wants to be first must be last of all and servant of all.” In today’s Gospel lesson, two of Jesus’ disciples, James and John, get a little more specific in their quest for greatness: “Grant us to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your glory.” In response, Jesus repeats himself (I imagine, with some exasperation), “Whoever wishes to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you must be servant of all.” And so I say, here we go again.

The disciples exhibit the eminently human habit of forgetting everything Jesus has been teaching them. And we love them for their poor memories because we can relate. But Jesus matches their eminently human forgetfulness with eminently divine patience. Jesus could say, “Didn’t you take notes last month? No?! Well, then get them from someone who was paying attention.” Instead, Jesus reiterates his message and offers us the opportunity to dive more deeply into his words.

Don’t worry: I’m not going to repeat my sermon about the linear model turning into the circular one, and I’m not going to use any examples from fourth grade. Rather, today’s Gospel lesson, in conjunction with the other lessons, helps us explore the roots of the two models. The linear model, in which hierarchical disparity perpetuates a “me first, you last” attitude, finds its roots in presumptive arrogance. The circular model, in which relational expectations lead to a “you before me makes us better” attitude, finds its roots in unassuming obedience. Thus, the giving up of the linear model for the circular necessitates a move from arrogance to obedience.

Let’s look at arrogance first. James and John, the sons of Zebedee, preface their request with these words: “Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you.” Right away, we know something is out of joint. The brothers attempt to get Jesus’ consent before they make their appeal known. Every parent out there knows that a child only employs this tactic if the request is unlikely to garner agreement. Earlier in the Gospel According to Mark, Herod makes the rookie mistake of swearing to his daughter to give her whatever she asks, and John the Baptizer turns up minus one head.

But Jesus makes no such mistake. He’s on to James and John from the start. “What is it you want me to do for you,” he says. Foiled in their search for premature commitment, the brothers soldier on and ask to sit on either side of Jesus in his glory. And here, Jesus exposes their arrogance by saying, “You do not know what you are asking.” In other words: You have no clue what you are talking about. Haven’t you been listening to me? Are you read to drink my cup? I’m about to die a gruesome death. This isn’t a Sunday stroll. If you knew what you were getting yourselves into, you would never have asked.

In their arrogance, James and John expect their request will be fulfilled on their terms. Sitting on Jesus’ right and left hands is as easy as asking him. The brothers do not contemplate the consequences of their appeal because, in their arrogance, they see none. Arrogance is a delusion of grandeur, a state of mind borne out of misplaced, narcissistic superiority. Arrogance assumes that the world works according to the expectations of the arrogant. But Jesus attempts to puncture the brothers’ delusion by reminding them of the very real consequences of their request. “Are you able to drink the cup that I drink,” he asks. Their terse reply of “We are able” shows more deluded arrogance – they are able to say the words, but their comprehension of the weight of those words leaves much to doubt.

The arrogant worldview, which conforms to the reality of narcissistic desire, has contributed to most, if not all, of the world’s worst sins: the enslavement and degradation of other races; the destruction of the environment for purposes of insatiable consumption; the apathy for the plight of others masked as laudable self-interest; the horror of war. In all of these, arrogance leads to the objectifying of some nebulous other in order to maintain the narcissistic reality. Everything is fodder, every person a pawn.

In today’s reading from the Hebrew Scriptures, God reminds Job that this deluded, arrogant worldview is far from reality. The writer does this in a rather snarky way, by having God interrogate Job on subjects, about which Job can know nothing. God says, “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding. Who determined its measurements – surely you know!” This continues for a few pages, but you get the picture. God reminds Job that reality and Job’s delusion of reality are two different things. The implication is this: only the arrogant assume they know enough about creation to substitute for the Creator.

God’s interrogation of Job calls us out of our arrogance. Of course, we weren’t there when God laid the foundation of the earth. Much like James and John, who arrogantly assume their own primacy, we often forget that we aren’t the centers of our own universes. When we accept the grace from God to look past our delusions, we begin to grasp the other way to live. We begin to see that our own narcissistic realities pale in comparison to the harmony, radiance, and joy of God’s reality. And we begin to realize that obedience to God is our participation in this reality.

The word “obedience” is much maligned, so we must quickly reassemble its meaning. Banish from your minds the thought of canine “obedience” school or the memory of a ruler to the back of your hand to teach “obedience.” Obedience relies neither on the carrot nor the stick because obedience exists on a plane apart from reward and punishment. True obedience comprehends listening for God’s call and having the courage to act on that call. Obedience is shorthand for “resonance with God’s movement.” When we are tuned to God’s presence, we vibrate with all the vibrancy that God’s love could offer to us.

But obedience is difficult because arrogance beckons and pulls us back to our easy, little realities. According to the Letter to the Hebrews this morning, Jesus had to learn “obedience through what he suffered.” Because of his suffering, because of his obedience, “he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him,” for all who desire to resonate with him.

This obedience, this resonance, finds its deepest expression in Jesus’ words to his disciples following James and John’s request. First, he reminds them of the arrogance of the world: the rulers of the Gentiles “lord it over them, and their great ones are tyrants over them.” The tyrant is the prime example of the arrogant worldview. “But,” Jesus continues, “it is not so among you; but whoever wishes to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you must be servant of all.” Then, he uses himself as a paradigm: “For the Son of Man came not be served but to serve.”

We serve because Jesus served. We resonate with Christ most readily when we are serving others, when we are looking upon that nebulous other and seeing not a pawn, but a companion. We move from arrogance to obedience when we include in our realities the people who don’t fit and the consequences that we ignore. As the shells of our realities fade to reveal God’s greater reality, we realize how small were the lives we lived in our arrogance. We discover, somewhat paradoxically, how much more freedom exists in our obedience.

In that freedom, we will find joy and suffering, especially as we look with love upon the other. In that freedom, we will find grief and hope, because both are antidotes for narcissism. In that freedom, we will find the faith of the One who calls us to obedience. And we will walk in the confidence of that faith as God continues to peal away our arrogance to reveal beautiful, resonant, radiant children of God.

Rescued from Doubt

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles.  The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.  Psa. 34:17-18

During this time, a lot of things are hard with jobs, finances, and my husband being gone all the time.  I vacillate between trusting and doubting God.  I will be confident in Him, sure that He is working everything out for our good, and then some new problem will arise, and my fragile trust crumbles.

After a few days of doubting God and His goodness, I am miserable.  I can’t seem to get myself out of this state until I remember that I can ask God for help.  I can ask Him to make me want His will, to make me enjoy it.  I ask Him to help me love Him and to trust Him.  I ask Him to help me want to please Him and to make it my heart’s desire.

Then I will go about my day and, amazingly realize that my attitude has changed.  I am feeling content and at peace.  Suddenly the thing that was so upsetting to me does not seem to bother me so much any more.  I can enjoy God, and I want to please Him again.

Thank You God that we can ask You for whatever we are lacking, and You willingly provide what we need to follow You and to even to enjoy it.  Thank You that you are so patient, understanding, and forgiving when we doubt.  And thank You that You provide a way for us to be rescued out and at peace again.  We are in love with You and in awe of You, Amazing God.  You are worthy of all our worship.  In Jesus name, Amen.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Career options in BPOs and KPOs

Business Process Outsourcing and Knowledge Process Outsourcing are currently booming industries in India.

Businesses need to constantly stay competitive and keep prices in check, what better way then to outsourcing work to a remote location that is cheaper and lets you benefit on all the 24 hours of the day. Companies across the globe are therefore favoring India. Additionally India has a huge talented and educated work force. The annual revenue earned by India from the BPO industry is around $11 billion (1% of the GDP).

Recently the BPO and KPO industry has operated like a huge sponge, absorbing millions of young people into their workforce. Till not so long back cities like Bangalore were the main hub of BPO and KPOs. This is changing; companies are seeking further cost reductions and moving to smaller areas like Gurgaon, Noida, Hyderabad, Pune, Thiruvanantapuram, Chennai and Calcutta.

The BPO industry offer a diverse range of career options to young people fresh out of college and freshers keen to try out their hand are flocking to join a BPO and KPO in large numbers.

What is a BPO Career all about?

A BPO career revolves around the core activity of delivering business process outsourcing services. This involves voice (telephone) and non-voice (email, chat) based customer interaction services, transaction processing, telemarketing, technical support or analyzing of customer specific data. It also involves back-end jobs such as claims processing and processing of Finance & Accounting transactions.

What is the kind of work Outsourced to India?

The BPO work that is outsourced is from various industries like

  • Credit cards
  • Healthcare products
  • Personal care products
  • Education
  • Retail
  • Technology
  • Legal
  • HR
  • Marketing
  • Administration management
  • Finance
  • Telecom and many more

Although the business started off with the United States outsourcing work to India, the list of countries has grown to include others like Australia, Canada and UK, Ireland etc.

Advantages of starting a career in a BPO

  • Global exposure
  • Communication skills are enhanced
  • Exposure to different people while handling customers
  • Good work environment
  • Transport taken care off
  • Young people all around, so it can be a fun atmosphere
  • Good compensation package

People having multi-lingual skills in French, Spanish, etc., also have good opportunities in BPOs.

Requirements for Joining a BPO

  • Graduation in any stream
  • Good spoken and written English communication skills
  • Basic Computer skills
  • An attitude and willingness to learn
  • Ability to interact with people of various regions and cultures
  • Willingness to work on night shifts
  • Adaptable nature

Work Timings

Since the BPO Industry caters to clients across the globe, the work timings are in line with that.

There are broadly 2 shifts at which BPOs work,

  • US shifts – This would entail working between 5.00 PM to 9.00 AM
  • UK shifts – This would entail working between 12.00 PM to 12.00 AM

Salary

Starting salaries could be anywhere from Rs. 15,000 – 20,000.

What are the various rounds of interview in the recruitment process?

The recruitment process can be rigorous and lengthy, nearly everything centering around your communication skills.

Usually the recruitment process involves:

1. Group Discussion- The candidates are evaluated on the parameters of:

  • Communication Skills
  • Leadership Traits
  • Team Work
  • Logical Thinking
  • Knowledge of the Subject
  • Body Language

2. Personal Introduction- the candidates are required to give a brief introduction about themselves to the Interviewer.

3. Communication skills – Grammar, Pronunciation, Neutral Accent and Fluency in the language.

4. Grammar/Aptitude test – This is based on the process the person will be working on.

5. Voice and Accent test- The candidates are evaluated on their:

  • Pronunciation
  • Rate of Speech
  • Vocal Qualities
  • Grammar
  • Clarity in Thought and Speech
  • Accent Aptitude – British/American

6. Line Interview- Line Evaluators assess candidates on the Fitment Issue. The candidates are checked regarding their adaptability to respective processes in terms of their selling skills, patience, problem solving skills, etc

7. HR Round – The offer is based on the Performance of the Candidate in all the rounds of the Interview, Educational Qualification and Prior Work Experience (Relevant/Non-Relevant).

There are hundreds of companies offering BPO services and so you have a huge choice about the company you can join. Once you put up your CV at a job site or register with an HR Consultancy you will be informed about dozens of job opening.

Go for as many interviews as you can, first for the experience and to learn the ropes, and then to clinch the deal. If you focus on your communication skills and are good at it, you should have no shortfall of offers and then you can actually pick and choose the company you would like to work for.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Your First Job

“Your first job is an extension of your education”
Fresh out of college. Loads of dreams. A whole new world waiting to be explored. And you are just waiting to put all those fat books you have spent the last few years studying into practice. Self-assured and confident yet anxious about the new world ahead. To make all those castles in the air real…with your very first job.
Like every other first experience, the first job is one experience which you wouldn’t remember to forget. The experience could make lasting impressions in your mind.
Desirables
In your first job, there are a few things that are helpful. Though they are not mandatory yet they are desirable in view of the long-term benefits they offer.
1. Postpone marriage.
2. Starting up with MNCs helps.
3. Start in line functions.
Choose between:
ท Accounting vs. Audit.
ท Sales vs. Marketing.
ท Production vs. Planning.
4. Start in the private sector.
5. Work outside your hometown.
The Basics
First, understand that your first job is not a job. It is an extension of your education. The first job is the foundation of your job career.
By foundation of your job career I mean that the experiences you come across leave indelible impressions on your mind that are often lasting ones. It shapes your attitude and outlook towards lot of many things.
The first job is a stepping stone to higher levels in the corporate hierarchy. Don’t start looking for new jobs when the going gets tough or when someone offers a few hundred bucks more. Stay on for a minimum period of 5 years. The experience provides you a solid base upon which you can build your career.
Be flexible and go mobile. Don’t stick to one city/state and get your career grounded. Be prepared to shift anywhere. Travel widens your horizons.
Seven Steps to a strong foundation
1. Right Attitude
“There are no menial jobs, only menial attitudes.”
- William John Bennett
Have an open mind. Never judge anyone or anything immediately. Wait and watch before jumping into conclusions. Having the right attitude towards work and people is as important as the ability to work. Modern companies require their employees to sport the right attitude that is in full alignment with their goals and objectives. To start with you must be a law-abiding employee giving due respect to people, processes, practices, hierarchy and the organization.
Even clock-watching in the first or initial days of your first job is a pointer of your attitude. Don’t clock-watch and flee the workplace as soon as the clock strikes six in the evening. People notice your activities intensely and they may form fixed impressions in their minds. So don’t hesitate to stay put and finish your job if the situation warrants. Believe me, people would appreciate.
Again, attitude matters most since it measures your altitude. It can spell how far you can go on the organizational hierarchy. Right attitude is one where the mind looks at things with a positive outlook. You are open to ideas and there are no limiting factors to cloud your views and opinions about people and their ideas.
2. Get networked
Get to know people and be friendly with them. Your work may warrant, at times, getting in touch with, job, different people. During such occasions their support and guidance will be very much valuable and useful. But irrespective of your work requirements it’s always good to know people. Coffee and lunch breaks are times to mingle with people across the organization.
Come out of the shell. Don’t restrict your circle with just among those in your department. Reach out to people from across functions.
3. Learning the ropes
Your first task is to secure yourself – to transform the slippery toehold you have gained into a firm foothold. For this to happen you must become technically competent
Technical competence comes when you learn the job thoroughly. Transform the theoretical knowledge gained in your years of study into practical and workable application to the job you do.
Learn as much as possible – across functions. The more you learn the better. Most novices fail by trying to learn the tricks of the trade. Instead, learn the trade itself. Learn across functions and become multi-skilled. That looks great on your resume.
More than learning what’s more important is the willingness to learn. Develop this desire to learn and there can be no stops for you. Many novices are shy of learning lest they would be branded ignorant. When you are struck somewhere don’t blink; ask help. People will explain how. Don’t live with ignorance. Dispel darkness with knowledge. And as the Danish proverb says, “Better to ask twice than to lose your way once.”
Be ashamed to say, “I don’t know”. Learn and you will never have to say that again.
Invest your time, energy and resources in learning without expecting anything in return.
4. Take Initiatives
“Folks who never do more than they get paid for, never get paid for any more than they do.”
- Elbert Hubbard
Without initiatives you are nowhere. You will not get noticed and counted. Initiatives prove your worth and serve as portraying you as pro-active, loyal and committed to the organization you work for. Higher-ups will start taking you seriously.
Initiative means exhibiting originality, doing a thing on your own volition without being told by someone.
What sets two trainees apart is this ability to take initiatives, to pitch in with ideas and suggestions in order to improve and simplify processes & procedures. “That’s-not-my-job“, “Why-should-I?” attitudes must go away for good in order to take initiatives. And taking initiatives is one way to get out of the pile and stand out distinctly.
Let me explain the value of taking initiatives with an example.
Three brothers, Jim, Mike and Bill were hired by a company on the same pay. Three years later, Jim was being paid $500 a month, Mike was receiving $1000 but Bill was making $1500.
Their father decided to visit the employer and questioned about the disparity of their income. He listened to the confused father and said, “I will let the boys explain themselves.”
Jim was summoned to the supervisor’s office and was told, “Jim, our company has just brought a large cargo ship loaded with Japanese electronic items. Will you please go over to the harbor and get a cargo inventory?”
A few minutes later, Jim returned to the office. “The cargo was one lakh units of Japanese stereos.” Jim reported “I got the information over the phone from the Port Trust delivery office.”
When Jim left, Mike, the $1000 a month brother, was called. “Mike,” said the boss, “I wish you would go out to the harbor and get an inventory of the cargo ship which was just brought in by our company.”
An hour later, Mike was back in the office with a list showing that the ship carried one lakh units of Japanese stereos, 75000 cameras and 100 camcorders. Then Bill, the $1500 a month brother, was given identical instructions. Working hours were over when he finally returned.
“The cargo ship carried one lakh units of Japanese stereos,” he began. “It was on sale at $50 a piece, so I took a two-day option on the whole lot. I have wired a manufacturer in Iowa offering the stereos at seventy five dollars a piece. I expect to have the order tomorrow. I also found the 75000 cameras, which I sold over the telephone at a profit of $25 each. There were 100 camcorders of which nearly 40 were damaged during transit. So I sold the rest at a profit of $75 a piece.”
When Bill left the office the boss smiled. “You probably noticed” he said, “that Jim doesn’t do what he’s told, Mike does only what he’s told, but Bill does without being told.”
The future is full of promise for one who shows initiative.
5. Be accountable
It is in the first job we always commit blunder and mistakes and we fear to tread confidently. We try to effectively use the loopholes and make good our escape from accountability. But beware! People always are watching, job, but they just don’t point out for whatever reasons.
Being accountable to the jobs we undertake is a sure sign of maturity, courage and confidence. The courage we display to own up mistakes and take responsibility for our actions will show us in the right picture.
When things go wrong, standing up and admitting the faults will only help us to see things in the right perspective and provide us an opportunity to learn from such aberrations. Though it is easy to pass the buck and thank our stars for not getting caught we learn very little except cunningness and tricks of the blame game which doesn’t augur well for us.
6. Work on feedback
Feedbacks are a report on your performance. Be open to criticism and correction. Since it’s only your very first job people may point out when you go wrong. Learn. Take feedbacks seriously and positively. They help us being focused by pointing out the anomalies and gaps between the expectations and our performance. Don’t lose heart if you are not up to the mark. Every professional is at first an amateur. Give yourself a chance and think how best you get bridge this variance. Ask for guidance from your superior and he will be glad to do so.
Working upon the feedback is more important than merely attending the routine feedback sessions. Start by taking efforts on the areas of improvement. Improve constantly until you exceed expectations. And again improvement doesn’t end there. You can just feel satisfied that you have met the standards but improving constantly is a never-ending mantra. The proof of the pudding is in the eating! Prove yourself with improved performance. That way you gain confidence of your superior.
7. Say no to gossip
The bane of new recruits is getting into the vortex of gossiping and politics. Steer clear from these as they pull you down to an abyss. They spoil and cloud your outlook, attitude and approach. Gossiping and lying go hand in hand.
Never talk ill of others particularly when they are not around. Such behavior is in poor taste. Don’t harbor extreme views on persons and things. Those who value work and their time will not waste time in gossip.
Brace yourself to get a few shocks in your first job. After all, everything is not tailor-made for you. For instance, you may have visualized your office as a dream office just as you get to see in films and glossy magazines & brochures. Remember, the size of your office is not as important as the size of your paycheck.
First job experiences are worth remembering forever. Let self-consciousness give way to confidence and move ahead with firm steps. As with everything else, keep your eyes and ears open always. Tread with care since it could either leave indelible scars or make you a star. Do things that you would be proud about and you will cherish the experience forever. Let your foundation be strong and it starts with your first job!
_________________________________________________________________
Copyright (c) 2005 by G Ram Kumar. All rights reserved.
G Ram Kumar works with Affiliated Computer, job, Services, Inc a Fortune 500 company providing premier IT solutions in the US
at Bangalore. Prior to this, he was with Juno Online Services, one of the top Internet Service Provider in the US and
he had a short stint with ICICI Bank, India’s largest private sector bank.
Ram is an MCA and also he is certified by Cisco Systems Inc, USA as Cisco Certified Network Associate.
His first major book Career Excellence in two volumes for everyone interested in career development has been published
by Atlantic Publishers & Distributors, New Delhi and it has been well-received.
Ram’s second book “Cyber Crimes – A Primer on Internet Threats and Email Abuses” is about to be released by Viva Books,
New Delhi. Please check the following link for further details about the book:
http://www.vivagroupindia.net/bookdetail.ASP?ID=8130902281
Ram’s other books include FAQs in Interviews epublished by Independentbook.com, USA, Getting IT Right, The Best of Forwarded Emails and Rover SD1 -The Story in Pictures – all epublished by Globusz Publishing,USA.
Further, to diseminate awareness about cyber crimes Ram has founded Web Watch, Inc a non-profit organisation involved in
safe Internet computing awareness initiatives. Ram has developed & runs a website www.webwatch.tk – the online presence of Web Watch, Inc which aims at making netizens enlightened about the dangers that lurk the dark corridors of the
Internet.
Ram Kumar is one of the founder trustees of SKetch, a Tamil Nadu-based NGO involved in women education and empowerment initiatives and sits on the board of the Governing Council of Trustees of SKetch.
The author is based at Bangalore, India and at present writing a book profiling the lives of great people.
Coming it may as surprise to readers, the author of these books is just 26 years old!
You may check more information about Ram at www.gramkumar.tk

Formulér et problem

Er det en kunst?

Nej jeg tror ikke, det er en en kunst at formulere et problem præcist og skærpet, således at den, man spørger, har en chance for hurtigt at svare.

Både i min fritid og på mit arbejde oplever jeg, at spørgsmål stilles så vagt og upræcist, at man, som den, der ventes at svare, bliver nødt til at stille afklarende spørgsmål, hvilket dybest set er spild af tid, forstået som tid, der burde være brugt på noget mere fornuftigt.

Flere slægtsforskningsfora præges af dobbeltydighed og uklarhed. Fx fortæller brugerne en lang historie om oldefar og giver en masse informationer; som læser sidder man tilbage med spørgsmålet: “Hvad er det, du ønsker hjælp til?”

En anden klassiker er at gentage forummets overskrift/navn. På DIS-Forum er der fx et Forum, der hedder “Hjælp til tydning”. Det er mig en gåde af hvilken grund mange derefter starter tråden med “Hjælp til tydning ønskes” – ja selvfølgelig, ellers er det jo det forkerte forum. Det er da mere relevant at skrive fx: “Vejle, Nørvang, Thyregod, dåb 1777″, så kan man som læser lynhurtigt vurdere, om man evt. kan hjælpe.

Jeg lever primært af at supportere et IT-system med 3.000 brugere. Jeg får ofte e-mails ad modum “Det virker ikke”, “den regner forkert” eller “det ser mærkeligt ud”.

Så sidder jeg og kigger lidt på det og tænker, at det vel egentlig ser meget godt ud og prøver at gætte, hvad brugeren mener. Da mit neurale netværk er ret underudviklet, gætter jeg som regel forkert, og for ikke at gøre det, bliver jeg nødt til at returnere nogle spørgsmål “Hvad mener du er forkert, hvad mener du i stedet, der burde have stået, og hvor skal jeg kigge for at se det?”

Brugeren synes sikkert, det er sært, at jeg ikke kan gætte problemet, og irriteres sikkert over at måtte sende endnu en e-mail for at få hjælp. De samlede transaktionsomkostninger for løsning af et banalt problem bliver mindst dobbelt så store som nødvendigt!

Det vil altid undre mig, at der bruges så mange overflødige ord og sætninger, og sendes så mange e-mails som ikke i sig selv bidrager til en værditilvækst. Det hele kunne være klart til den halve pris med en præcis og klar problemformulering.

På samme måder undrer det mig, at mange mennesker mener, de absolut skal telefonere om et problem.

For hvad er det der sker, når folk ringer? Jo de præsenterer problemet, og når de er færdige med det og jeg begynder at løse det/forklare en sammenhæng, så taler de selv videre.

Jamen jeg kan ikke både tænke, arbejde og samtale på én gang – og også i denne situation er omkostningen mindst den dobbelte af, hvad den burde være.

E-mails har en række fordele:

  • de besvares i den rækkefølge, de kommer og ingen kan møve sig ind foran i køen,
  • jeg kan genbruge mine svar ,
  • brugeren kan gemme og genbruge svaret, og
  • det er langt hurtigere. Der er ikke mange samtaler, der kan gennemføres lige så hurtigt, som jeg kan besvare e-mails.
  • Jo hurtigere jeg kan besvare e-mails, jo flere sager kan jeg tage fra samlebåndet pr. dag.

Nuvel, det er sikkert bare den introverte del af mig, der forsøger at finde argumenter for den måde, jeg i det hele taget kan arbejde på, men jeg mener fortsat, det må være muligt at formulere et problem klart, tydeligt og så på skrift.

Quotable Quotes

“In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip.” ~ Daniel L. Reardon

“It is not the fact of liberty but they way in which liberty is exercised that ultimately determines whether liberty itself survives.” ~ Dorothy Thompson

“When I was young, I observed that nine out of every ten things I did were failures, so I did ten times the work.”  ~ George Bernard Shaw

“Winner believe in their worth in advance of their performance.” ~ Denis Waitley

“Getting people to like you is the other side of liking them.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale

“There are risks and costs to a program of action. But they are far less than the long range risks and costs of comfortable inaction.” ~ John F. Kennedy

“You can’t hit a home-run unless you step up to the plate. You can’t catch a fish unless you put a line in the water. You can’t reach your goals unless you actually do something.” ~ Kathy Seligman

“I have been driven many times to my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go.” – Abraham Lincoln

“Productive achievement is a consequence and an expression of healthy esteem, not its cause.” ~ Nathaniel Braden

“I never lose sight of the fact that just being is fun.” ~ Katharine Hepburn

“Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.” ~ Dr. Albert Schweitzer (1875 – 1965)

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Massage Therapist Job - Woodbury, MN

MASSAGE THERAPIST JOB OPENING – Woodbury, MN

Premier Fitness Studio in Woodbury, MN is seeking an experienced
Massage Therapist to work as an independent contractor at our
private studio.  Job details and requirements are as follows:

  • Independent Contractor position
  • Compensation: % of session value + tips + % product
    commissions
  • Flexible scheduling–work on an appointment only
    basis
  • Full or Part-Time hours
  • Studio provides: dedicated massage room with electric-lift
    massage table, linens, stereo, lotion warmer, and table warmer;
    online scheduling system
  • Therapist provides: lotions and oils
  • Professional certification required
  • Deep tissue therapy technique required
  • Independent
    liability insurance required

Submit resume and cover letter by email at:
careers@premier-fitness.com or by fax at 612-234-4653.

desperate housewife wannabe?

i am so tired of being exhausted, completely overwhelmed, and feeling stupid. i guess that’s what a new job will do to you. feeling stupid is especially exhausting to me. i’m not really that used to it. that may sound stuck up…but whatev. this is my blog.

lately i’ve been thinking about sex roles and gender identity. our society typically looks to women to be the caregivers, the more emotional of the sexes, and the ones who truly make a house a home. i think that for the most part, the aforementioned is true. however, i wonder about people like me–sometimes i think that i could be really domestic, and then other times, the thought makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit. i realize that the ‘throw up’ thing is extremely unappealing to men, and that is most likely why i am single.

it is said that men are attracted to women that are fertile–while i have no idea about my fertility, i believe that men are innately attracted to women that have a natural desire to nurse, nurture, and be nincompoops. of course, no offense if you are a married/taken woman..i’m in no way suggesting that all women that are not single are useless–i’m simply saying that men tend to gravitate toward women that don’t challenge them in any way, but especially intellectually. i know many many men and most of them are dating women that have jobs or iq’s that could be seen as ‘less’ than what they have (btw, i’m not saying that the job or iq of anyone i know is less than their male counterpart, but i do believe that men believe it to be true, if that makes sense). men also seem to be attracted to women that don’t have as much ambition as they do. they want to be the adventurers and they want their women to nurture. i’m not saying that this is entirely wrong…afterall, i do believe that in general men were born with more of a tendency toward adventure than women. but that’s not always the case. some women really don’t want to be trophy wives. is that okay?

i really dislike the idea/assumption that women (or men) should be a certain way in order to fulfill their gender role. i often doubt my ability to dedicate my life to the ‘american dream/american family’ thing. i get disgusted at the sheer image of a dirty, ornery child. when i think about sitting at home all day, every day, i go insane.  i start to feel like i can’t breathe when i think about my life becoming about nothing but carting my suburban children around in a mini-van. i feel like so many parents (especially moms) lose themselves and have no identity other than mother/wife. again, if that is what one desires, i have no problem with it. but i must wonder…is the role of wife/mother the highest level of achievement for a woman in our society? and if so, why?

i think it could be fun to be a mother. i think i might love being a wife. but i hate when people make comments to me (which happens more than one might realize) suggesting that i don’t care about typical things that ‘most’ women care about, simply because i’m not on a desperate search to find my baby’s daddy. while i can appreciate the allure of staying home: coffee with friends, lunching, maybe an hour volunteering with the PTA, and spending all of your husband’s money on clothes/household items/new ‘ingredients’ for that ’special’ recipe, when i apply that situation to my own life, i feel empty and sad.

i’m sure there are a plethora of moms that are thrilled to be home, and i’m not hating on stay at home moms. my mom was a stay at home mom for most of my life, and i’m not gonna lie, i loved every second of it as a kid. but as an adult, i can’t help but wonder if that’s what she really wanted, or if she regrets it at all. i know she wanted to raise us as opposed to someone else raising us and i love that (and should i ever have kids, i want to find a way to do this and still work), but is there something missing when society teaches women that their only importance is to bear and raise children, keep a clean house, make a delicious dinner, and look desirable for their husbands?

i’m just not on that bandwagon. again, i’m not going to chastise someone for being on it, but it’s not for me. i’m not saying that i have no desire to be a wife or a mother…but i have no desire to have that life (you know…the “i run my kids everywhere and do 75 loads of laundry a day, look like a bedgraggled mess and have no time to enjoy myself , my husband, or my friends). i don’t want my every written word, spoken word, or thought to be about my kids and how they run my life. maybe that’s selfish. i’m sure anyone that’s a parent thinks that i’m a total a-hole. it is what it is.

i think that moms are amazing, and many of them skillfully preserve their self-identity, raise a family, and have a successful marriage. but i feel like i know so many who make the whole of their lives about others–and even though i believe that our general life focus should be on others, i think that there is a very important piece of self-preservation that is essential and healthy. i especially think it’s important for kids to see that sometimes “their dad” comes before them, and sometimes “their mom” needs to have coffee with a friend instead of being cooped up in the house with them all day and all night.

i guess you can’t have it all. maybe it’s different once you experience it. but i think that one of my big realizations about myself is this: one of my biggest ‘life fears’ is being a trapped suburbian mom with no adventure, no mystique, no self-satisfaction. i want the wife and mother thing. but i also want to put this $100,000 education to use. i want to have an active part in foreign relief/missions. i want to travel and experience life.  does that make me an ‘inadequate’ woman? does that mean that i am not fulfilling my purpose on this earth? does it make me evil or selfish?

maybe. but maybe it makes me someone who wants to show my kids what life is really about according to me. then again, maybe it just makes me an a-hole. i’ll accept either.

PARENTS: Don't Confine Your Kids' Dreams To Your Own

Our good friends Natasha and Kyle gave Breanna a doctor set for her 3rd birthday. It has all the main tools a toddler doctor needs, in order to give a checkup to her favorite stuffed animal. But Breanna doesn’t use it on her toys. She would rather check out daddy’s vitals and make sure he’s in good shape…

The funny thing is that she calls the stethoscope a TELESCOPE.

 

 

 

Granted, stethoscope is a pretty tough word for a barely-3-year-old little kid. However, I’m sure Bre could say it correctly if we pronounced it to her a few times. But I don’t have the heart to do that just yet (no pun intended).

When Breezy comes running into the living room from her play room and says…

I love to listen to daddy’s heart with my new telescope!

…I can’t help but think to myself that it kind of makes sense.

This is because my heart really does feel like it’s floating around high in the sky … up there with the stars … each time I sit down on the floor to play with my little angel. So, if she really wants to listen to my heart … she should be using a telescope. Except for the fact that telescopes are for looking at things rather than listening to them. But we’ll ignore that minor detail for now.

Eva and I are pretty sure Bre-Bre loves this little doctor set so much because she gets such a kick out of the episode of Max & Ruby in which Ruby and Louise play doctor… and use little brother Max as their patient. For those of you who know Breanna, it will come to no surprise to you that she acts more like seven-year-old Ruby than she does Max, who is Bre’s own age. She’s determined, she’s independent, and she likes to be a little bossy with other kids if you let her. Just ask her daycare teachers if you don’t believe me! (She’s a real teacher’s pet, which is cute right now. But she might be labeled as a tattle-tale when she gets older … so we’ll have to keep an eye on that). 

So, is this a glimpse into the future? Is Breanna destined to be a doctor? She’s only 3 and she already has the routine down. She picks up one instrument at a time and methodically examines daddy, all the while ensuring me that I’m doing a good job as a patient…

Let me listen to your heart [places stethoscope in her ears and puts the end of it on my chest].

Good.

Now let me look in your ears [holds the otoscope up to my ear and looks through it].

Good.

Now let me use this thing. [puts the blood pressure sleeve around her own arm and squeezes the ball to make the needle spin ... then looks at me and realizes she's not examining me, so she holds her arm closer to mine ... I can see the wheels turning in her mind as she tries to figure out what part of that device is supposed to be on daddy].

Good.

It’s easy for parents to start daydreaming about what their children will become when they get older. But here’s where I’ll offer a little parenting advice for new dads…

This is a bold new world. Some careers are around today that didn’t even exist when you and I were in school (due to recent advances in technology, for example). Try not to confine your kids’ dreams to your own. Maybe your kid won’t grow up to be a doctor or lawyer or attend an ivy league school. Maybe she won’t like sports like you did or be interested in any of your hobbies. But that’s the great thing about kids: Their opportunities have no limits. The important thing is that you support them in whatever they want to learn more about, study or practice.

Sure, it will be awesome if Bre one day becomes a great softball player like her mom or a bookworm like her dad. I’ll be thrilled if she enjoys fishing half as much as Eva and I do. But it will be equally awesome if she chooses hobbies and an eventual career about which Eva and I know absolutely nothing.

Here are 4 things to remember, as parents:

The most important thing you can do for your kids is to show them love and support. (Doing so will build their self-confidence, which is important for their personal development.)

Give them guidance and help them to learn from your mistakes. (Just because you support them, doesn’t mean you always have to agree with them. Don’t hesitate to give advice and let them know that you, too, were once young and made mistakes. And remember to let them know about the consequences of your own bad decisions.)

Don’t discourage your kids from following their dreams. (There is nothing more discouraging to me than to see parents who don’t fully support and encourage their kids. Constructive criticism is fine, but teasing kids and making them feel inferior or like they’ll never accomplish a certain thing they want to achieve is ridiculous.)

Discipline them when they make bad choices. (Sure, my parents supported me all the way. But that’s not to say they didn’t discipline me when I screwed up.)

The bottom line is that I always knew I had my parents’ support, and Eva and I intend to make sure Breanna always has the confidence to reach for the stars because she knows that her own mommy and daddy are on her side and have got her back 110%.

 

 

* And if anyone from the FTC is reading this: No, I wasn’t paid by Fisher Price or anyone else to write about this toy. Sorry, I’m just not that popular of a blogger… yet.