Tuesday, October 13, 2009

PARENTS: Don't Confine Your Kids' Dreams To Your Own

Our good friends Natasha and Kyle gave Breanna a doctor set for her 3rd birthday. It has all the main tools a toddler doctor needs, in order to give a checkup to her favorite stuffed animal. But Breanna doesn’t use it on her toys. She would rather check out daddy’s vitals and make sure he’s in good shape…

The funny thing is that she calls the stethoscope a TELESCOPE.

 

 

 

Granted, stethoscope is a pretty tough word for a barely-3-year-old little kid. However, I’m sure Bre could say it correctly if we pronounced it to her a few times. But I don’t have the heart to do that just yet (no pun intended).

When Breezy comes running into the living room from her play room and says…

I love to listen to daddy’s heart with my new telescope!

…I can’t help but think to myself that it kind of makes sense.

This is because my heart really does feel like it’s floating around high in the sky … up there with the stars … each time I sit down on the floor to play with my little angel. So, if she really wants to listen to my heart … she should be using a telescope. Except for the fact that telescopes are for looking at things rather than listening to them. But we’ll ignore that minor detail for now.

Eva and I are pretty sure Bre-Bre loves this little doctor set so much because she gets such a kick out of the episode of Max & Ruby in which Ruby and Louise play doctor… and use little brother Max as their patient. For those of you who know Breanna, it will come to no surprise to you that she acts more like seven-year-old Ruby than she does Max, who is Bre’s own age. She’s determined, she’s independent, and she likes to be a little bossy with other kids if you let her. Just ask her daycare teachers if you don’t believe me! (She’s a real teacher’s pet, which is cute right now. But she might be labeled as a tattle-tale when she gets older … so we’ll have to keep an eye on that). 

So, is this a glimpse into the future? Is Breanna destined to be a doctor? She’s only 3 and she already has the routine down. She picks up one instrument at a time and methodically examines daddy, all the while ensuring me that I’m doing a good job as a patient…

Let me listen to your heart [places stethoscope in her ears and puts the end of it on my chest].

Good.

Now let me look in your ears [holds the otoscope up to my ear and looks through it].

Good.

Now let me use this thing. [puts the blood pressure sleeve around her own arm and squeezes the ball to make the needle spin ... then looks at me and realizes she's not examining me, so she holds her arm closer to mine ... I can see the wheels turning in her mind as she tries to figure out what part of that device is supposed to be on daddy].

Good.

It’s easy for parents to start daydreaming about what their children will become when they get older. But here’s where I’ll offer a little parenting advice for new dads…

This is a bold new world. Some careers are around today that didn’t even exist when you and I were in school (due to recent advances in technology, for example). Try not to confine your kids’ dreams to your own. Maybe your kid won’t grow up to be a doctor or lawyer or attend an ivy league school. Maybe she won’t like sports like you did or be interested in any of your hobbies. But that’s the great thing about kids: Their opportunities have no limits. The important thing is that you support them in whatever they want to learn more about, study or practice.

Sure, it will be awesome if Bre one day becomes a great softball player like her mom or a bookworm like her dad. I’ll be thrilled if she enjoys fishing half as much as Eva and I do. But it will be equally awesome if she chooses hobbies and an eventual career about which Eva and I know absolutely nothing.

Here are 4 things to remember, as parents:

The most important thing you can do for your kids is to show them love and support. (Doing so will build their self-confidence, which is important for their personal development.)

Give them guidance and help them to learn from your mistakes. (Just because you support them, doesn’t mean you always have to agree with them. Don’t hesitate to give advice and let them know that you, too, were once young and made mistakes. And remember to let them know about the consequences of your own bad decisions.)

Don’t discourage your kids from following their dreams. (There is nothing more discouraging to me than to see parents who don’t fully support and encourage their kids. Constructive criticism is fine, but teasing kids and making them feel inferior or like they’ll never accomplish a certain thing they want to achieve is ridiculous.)

Discipline them when they make bad choices. (Sure, my parents supported me all the way. But that’s not to say they didn’t discipline me when I screwed up.)

The bottom line is that I always knew I had my parents’ support, and Eva and I intend to make sure Breanna always has the confidence to reach for the stars because she knows that her own mommy and daddy are on her side and have got her back 110%.

 

 

* And if anyone from the FTC is reading this: No, I wasn’t paid by Fisher Price or anyone else to write about this toy. Sorry, I’m just not that popular of a blogger… yet.

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