I`ll keep this first part brief since I don’t think many of you are wrestling fans but I went to see the WWE on Sunday and OMG!!!!!!! It was amazing!
My seats weren’t as good this time as I was stuck in the middle of a row and that meant I could shoot to the ringside as quick but nothing was coming between me and my wrestlers so with a bit of pushing I made it there!
C M Punk and Christian
Look how close I got! Ladies, are you starting to see why I like wrestling so much? 3 1/2 hours of hot muscley men, whats not to like?
This is the one I REALLY wanted to see though:
The Deadman himselfI have watched wrestling since I was little, I grew up watching this man on tv, he is my childhood idol and to actually see him in REAL life was a dream come true.
I was so close to him, he came over to the barrier where I was at as well, at that point I think my heart stopped!
Anyhow it was a great night overall and I cant wait to go again sometime. Being there made me think about what I am missing out on in life, I`m missing out on having fun. Every day to me is just the same boring ritual and I can’t seem to bring myself to ever let go and have fun, I dont smile anymore, I dont have any interest in anything, I dont look forward to anything, overall I’ve lost the ability to enjoy life.
I feel like I am constantly stuck in the middle, stuck between two people, wanting one thing, feeling another. It’s like with my ed I am not recovered but I`m not desperately ill like I used to be, I can still exist and live a reasonable life as I am, I can work and I can function. Part of me wants to get better and be normal again but then part of me wants to get thinner and sicker. I took a photo of myself at the wrestling and I just can’t look at it, all I do is look at my face and think my cheeks are to fat and I begin to remember how I had razor sharp cheekbones when I was thinner.
I want to meet someone and have that fairytale romance and fall madly in love and get married but then part of me gets scared at the thought of that, part of me is terrified of getting close to someone. I dont think I`d ever be able to let go and loosen up enough to let someone in, to just let go and have fun with someone, have a proper relationship, I feel so rigid and like an ice queen.
I want to enjoy life and have a job that I love and live in a country I love and do things I enjoy but then part of me worries about the practicalities of life, I need a job with job security so I should go to university and do the logical choice of being a Radiographer. Then I begin to worry even further, I dont want to go to uni, I`m terrified of the thought, of being all alone again with no friends because I just cant make friends, of not fearing I had made the wrong choice and was forever stuck in this career now. Fearing that I`ll be trapped and wont get to achieve me dreams of moving abroad.
Sometimes I think that maybe I think to much?
Sunday was a chaotic day with trying to get things ready for the week and trying to get ready for the show, so I didnt have much time and needed something quick for dinner. Much to my delight last week I stumbled upon some Veg Pots!!!!!!!! Only problem being the shop I got them in is ages away but anyhow I got to try a new flavour for me:
The Mexican Sweet Potato Chilli: This was a spicy veg pot with brown rice, jalapeno peppers, potato, sweet potato, a whole range of beans and lots of other stuff mixed in!
As usual Innocent Veg Pots never fail, this was just delicious! It was pretty spicy compared to their other ranges but then I`m not very good with spicy food so others might not think so. I love how each pot is just packed full with veggies and beans , the only down side is they are all pretty low in protein content so I had a grilled chicken breast with this as well to bump that up. It seems like such a simple recipe, I wish I could re create it because they really are so good!
Well I`m away now to watch some I`m a celeb and see some celebs get tortured in the jungle, night all!
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