Stuck in a rut...

I went to coffee today with a good friend.  Words were all trapped in my head so I was a good listener.  She has been in a relationship for about 13 years with a man she no longer loves.  They are not married, have no children together so why doesn’t she break it off?  They own a vacation property together and they WORK together.  Guess we all have another reason not to have an office relationship right?  I think he’s her boss too.  Double yikes!!  I think I asked all of the right questions, I was supportive and tried to bring out the real reasons she was still staying with him.  In the end it seemed simpler to stay than to go.  Now that is depressing folks!

So why isn’t she depressed?  I was so unhappy in my first marriage I wanted out!  I didn’t care how hard it would be to have 3 kids under the age of 10 with a very low income.  After the divorce when reality kicked in was the first time I hit rock bottom.  I look at my friend and I think she is a fighter.  I’ve had times in my life where I have been a fighter….

Right now, today, the fighter is no where in sight.  The “run away as fast as you can” persona is in full charge of my thoughts.  I am running a business I care nothing about and I am going further into debt every day.  I hate it, I want to quit and find something simpler, less stressful to do.  I come close to quitting and then I’ll have a few good days and it sucks me back in again.  Oh I’ve been on www.careerbuilder.com, I’ve kept my ears open for other opportunities.  But I’ll be headed back there tomorrow because I’ve convinced myself that I’m in the job because it’s flexible and right now I NEED flexible.

So Yes staying where you are when you don’t want to be there is simpler sometimes.  Now “happy” is another subject altogether

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